i want to be great

i often have this tug of war with songwriting, jerking back and forth across the line of feeling like i just discovered something important and beautiful, and feeling like a 9 year old turning a paper in that doesn't deserve more than a B- (and that's if the teacher's feeling nice).

i want to be great. i want to write great songs. i want to have a repertoire that can evoke emotion from a room and take them on a journey that stays with them years later, that they can lock that moment into their memory and bring it up when they want to feel something. i want to add to the world in a way that lasts, and i want to do it through music. i want to have songs that people listen to quiet in their rooms at night when they are trying to get through hardships, and i want to have songs that you can turn up loud in the mornings and feel like it is a great day to be alive.

i've been on the receiving end of this musical goodness from some of my favorite artists (recent ones that come to mind are tom waits, john elliott, andi almqvist, josh ritter, louis armstrong, randy newman) and i want to do everything i can to be someone who creates music that means that much to someone else.

it doesn't happen by getting a record deal or a placement on grey's anatomy or being invited to a big showcase or being in the top 10 most listened to artists. all of those are wonderful and have nothing to do with it. a great song is or isn't there, and i don't know exactly what it takes but i know that it doesn't change its greatness based on exposure.

i do believe those things are terribly important, a great song unheard is sadder than a dropped ice cream cone (and that's sad). i've been incredibly lucky in my journey so far to have so many amazing people and opportunities that have stopped by, and i've appreciated and loved every one. right now i need to get back to the songs, i am yearning to know the guitar and piano more closely and write deeper and dig further inside and improve myself as a songwriter and musician and performer. get to the core, the honest good stuff.

these last few days i've locked myself inside and written, practiced or recorded just about every waking moment.

it is the most wonderful thing i've done in 4 years.

i'm going to do more, and am excited to have new songs to share with you soon.

i'll be staying off myspace and facebook for a while so i can practice and write fully without interruption. i feel like if i don't do it now i won't do it. can't wait to share what i dig up with you, i'll post little videos and songs every so often, so please subscribe to my youtube channel if you want to hear the in progress stuff. and i'll surely still check in here still every so often to send you some love. :)

http://youtube.com/moonlightoverthrewu

thank you for listening.
you are all remarkable.

more news soon. xO
.ambeR